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Sunday, 10 August 2014

News From Bromham - Dateline Sunday 10th August 2014

Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – Sunday 10th August

Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:

1.       Almost like history repeating itself, Bromham Casuals’ new season in the Germolene League (Wiltshire East) got off to its usual disastrous start.  After taking an early lead through a highly-contested Dwayne Mooney header, the Casuals’ defence collapsed in the second half.  Casuals’ irascible manager, Benny Dogleash, was totally unquotable & unprintable after the game when his star striker yet again had a rush of blood to the head and got himself sent off. The resulting penalty opened the scoring floodgates and Stockley United went on to win 6-1.  Another hard season beckons.

2.       The powers-that-be in Trowbridge have announced that there will be “limited” bombing runs across Minty’s Top to try and drive out the Seend Jihadist rebels who have advanced at lightning speed from Minty’s Bottom, at a far greater rate than intelligence reports had predicted. This is seen, however, as only a temporary measure to buy time until Bromham Parish Council is able to counter the insurrectionist surge.  Meanwhile humanitarian supplies have been parachuted in to the residents of Heddington.  The people there are not in any particular trouble, but it was felt that just living in Heddington was punishment enough.

3.       For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2014


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