Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 23rd August
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1.
In the border regions of the village an outbreak
of the deadly Carrot Fly disease has broken out. Quarantine sheds have been declared and
dedicated medical assistance has been tractored in to the area in an attempt to
stop it spreading. Several delivery
companies have now withdrawn services in that area altogether. All parsnips, beetroots and other root crops
are being routinely screened, and so far no-one in the village has contracted
the disease. There is no known cure and
Wiltshire Health Office (WHO) have declared a local emergency.
2.
Fears are growing in the face of many recent
vegetable extremist incidents. Kohlrabi “jihadists” have declared war on
peaceful arable and vegetable farmers in the area, demanding that all fields be
given over immediately to the cultivation of one particular strain of Kohlrabi,
or face having their young crops brutally uprooted. Bromham Parish Council has
passed various resolutions on the subject, but seems powerless to act in the
face of such radical extremism.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2014
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