Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 3rd August
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1.
And it’s been a tremendous fortnight here in
Bromham, as we come to the end of two weeks’ splendid competition in both track
and field. The closing ceremony will be
held tonight in the Snug Bar of The Wounded Ferret, featuring Rollin’ “Blind-eye”
Piglet on guitar, harmonica and spoons.
Bromham topped the medals’ table yet again, winning such key events as Bunched
Carrot Pulling, Parsnip Wrangling, and the tricky two-man Potato Picking discipline.
Star athlete this year was Insane “Boltcutter” Piglet, who easily won gold
again for Entry To A Shed or Other Outbuilding.
2.
Monday the 4th August will see solemn
ceremonies at the Memorial in the High Street, as villagers mark the 100th
anniversary of the outbreak of the First Silage War, between Bromham and their
avowed enemies, the International Seend And Netherstreet Enterprise
(INSANE). The war broke out when the
head farmer of Seend Cleeve was knocked off his horse by two Bromham boys who
had been engaged in a mangel-wurzel throwing contest. The stray vegetable hit the farmer on the
head, causing the start of a major diplomatic incident. And the rest, as they say, is geography.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2014
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