Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 17th August
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1.
The Bromham Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) were
posted this week outside the stately home of reclusive pop star Riff Pilchard,
whose celebrity status has done little or nothing to enhance the reputation of
the village, especially since he made those dreadful records in the 1960s &
1970s. Police searched the house,
following a tip-off from a member of the public, but so far all that has been
found is a cache of tasteless publicity shots for a 1978 calendar, and a large
number of offensive images (believed to be of Mr Pilchard himself). Police officers who attended the scene are
being given psychological counselling.
2.
A convoy of three tractors which set off from
Bromham a week ago have reached the disputed border with Seend. Authorities in the breakaway province are
refusing to allow them passage, claiming that they may be carrying carrots and
other root vegetables which might give succour to the insurgents in the
village. Bromham Parish Council, who
despatched the convoy, dismissed such claims, saying that the tractors were
merely bringing humanitarian aid in the form of cabbages.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2014
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