Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 31st January 2016
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. A
row has erupted in Bromham over the treatment of immigrant yokels. It has been revealed that the Parish Council
has been secretly marking these unfortunate individuals by insisting that they
wear baler-twine “bracelets” and that the doors of their workers’ cottages
should be painted cowflap brown. The
yokels have complained that these symbols mark them out for abuse from
better-off villagers, who regale them with insults as they drive past in their
Range Rovers and Chelsea Tractors.
2. It
has been revealed that Mrs. Olive Piglet, of Love Lane in the village, has
finally agreed to pay her newspaper bill at the Village Shop. Following intense behind-the bike-sheds
discussions over the past few days, Mrs Piglet has reached a final settlement
with the retailer. Parish Councillors,
however, demanded that an inquiry be set up into the settlement after it was
revealed that Mrs Piglet had been seen to pay cash twice in one week at the
butcher’s shop in the High Street.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2016
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