Road Hog
Cor – look at him!
Just look at him, Sandra!
What speed does he
think he’s doing, eh? Just look at him!
Can’t be doing above fifty. Bet he’s doing 49.9mph! Bet he’s sticking to
some weird speed limit in his head!
Silly old fool!
Look at him,
Sandra! Must be some sort of loony!
There he is, in the outside lane, just sitting there like
he owns the whole bloody road!
Should be in the
inside line, going at that speed! How’s
he expect people to get past him?
Look at him, Sandra!
We’re catching right up to him now, and I bet he’s not gonna move over!
Flash him, Sandra, flash him! Go on!
With your lights, Sandra, go on!
Typical! Completely oblivious!
Come on,
Grandad! Where you going? To a bloody funeral!
Flash him again, Sandra!
He’s got to look in his mirror some time.
He should move over.
Make him move over, Sandra, don’t let him get away with it!
Bloody idiot! Yes I’m talking to you! You’re a bloody idiot!
Get a bloody move
on!
Drive up close behind him, Sandra! Go on, get right up his arse! Go on, sit on his bumper!
Flash him again, Sandra!
He must know we’re here.
He must be
blind! Or deaf! Or stupid!
Or all three! Which is it, eh,
mate??
Give him the sound of your horn, Sandra, go on! Another blast, go on!
He’s taking no notice!
Unbelievable!
Bet he passed his
test about a hundred years ago!
Keep flashing him, Sandra, don’t let him off!
Go on, Sandra, fill up his mirrors, let him know you’re
here!
You wanna look in your mirrors, mate! Look – we’re here! Coo-eee!
Now he’s slowing
down! I can’t believe it, he’s actually slowing
down!
Careful, Sandra, or we’ll be in the back of him!
What’s he playing
at, the bloody fool?
Oh no – now the
road’s down to a single lane – we’ll never get past him now!
Flash him again, Sandra, go on – give him the treatment!
He’s getting ever
so slow now. What’s he doing? What does he think he’s doing?
I think he’s stopping, Sandra.
He’s doing it on
purpose! He’s gonna stop!
Brake, Sandra, brake!
He’s stopped. He’s getting out,
Sandra.
He’s coming this way, Sandra.
-------
Yes, he is, isn’t he?
A very big chap. And he doesn’t
look very happy, does he, Sandra?
Wind your window up, Sandra, quick – wind it up!
And what’s that in
his hand? Is that…..a spanner? Yes, it’s a bloody spanner!
Quick, Sandra, lock the doors!
Drive off, Sandra,
drive off!
Quick – before he gets here!
-------
Phew! Well, that
was a bit close, wasn’t it? Thank God we
got away from him!
There’s some real
loonies around these days, Sandra!
You can’t be too careful.
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