Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 24th March 2019
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1.
Security measures were tightened in D-Town this week
as the official Risk Status was raised from a sort of pale mauve to a slightly
odd shade of turquoise with yellow spots, following the announcement by local armed
forces that they had finally defeated the last few strongholds of the Trowvegas
Caliphate. It is feared that disaffected
pensioners and other crumblies will flee the disintegrating town only to
infiltrate themselves across the border by using fake bus-passes on the 49 bus
service, spreading havoc with their walking sticks, zimmer frames and mobility
scooters.
2.
And it is expected that D-Town Council will make
history this week when a 47th Meaningless Vote is held in the
Council Chamber. The Guardians Of The
Peace Party are expected to operate a three-line whip and a pair of medieval
stocks to oppose anything that anybody else proposes. The atmosphere is now febrile, with all
parties split on the best way forward. There
is also to be a vote on the subject of which date is now the absolute deadline
for getting a majority vote through.
Various suggestions have been put forward, including 29th
March, 12th April, 22nd May, the 12th of
Never, It Might As Well Rain Until September, and I Wish It Could Be Christmas
Every Day. No calendars were harmed in
the making of this sweepstake.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019
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