Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 31st March 2019
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1.
An investigation has been launched after a 49 bus
service from D-Town, timetabled to arrive in Trowvegas, actually arrived in
Shitandoom, nearly 20 miles from its intended destination. A spokes-bot for the bus company said that in
future they would get round this embarrassing problem by simply renaming the
Shitandoom terminus as “Trowvegas North”, and denied that passengers might find
this at all confusing. “After all,” it
said, “Ryanair have been getting away with this tactic for years.”
2.
And it has been another lively week in D-Town’s
Council Chamber, where a wide range of “indicative” votes have been taken this
week. Every proposal put forward was
roundly defeated. Asked what this all meant,
particularly the “indicative” nature of the votes, the town mayor replied “it
indicates that nobody knows what to do, it indicates that there is no majority
for anything, it indicates that we haven’t got a clue, and it indicates that we
may keep on doing this for the next twenty years as it’s such as lot of
fun. And we get to keep our attendance
allowances, and to claim even more expenses.
It indicates that we’ve all totally lost the plot.” He then indicated that our reporter should go
forth and multiply.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019
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