Officially Fragile

Officially Fragile

I went for my check-up the other day

A long-delayed appointment

And had to sit amongst the great unwashed

Whilst awaiting my consultation

And when it finally came round to me

And made it inside to see the doc

I sat myself upon the patient’s chair

And he asked me what my trouble was

 

Where to begin? I said morosely

And then proceeded to tell him of my woes

Of all my aches and pains

The stiffness in my joints

My general lack of energy

And all my trouble sleeping

That I hated taking tablets

Of how my hip was always hurting

As I waited for my operation

That I disliked walking with a stick

And was frightened now of falling

 

That I couldn’t carry heavy shopping

Nor stand for long when riding on the bus

How everything felt so exhausting

And how my bladder was no longer to be trusted

 

And he listened patiently to me

Despite all the others waiting in his queue

Asked a few general leading questions

Felt my pulse, took my blood pressure

And perused my bulging patient file

Before coming to his sad conclusion –

That I was doing pretty well, considering

My great advance in years

And it was only to be expected

 

He told me I’d earned a new designation

And reached another milestone in my life

He explained that I was now “officially fragile”

And that I must be extra careful

Because my bones were dry and brittle

That any breakage might be my last

And that my body would shy away from healing

 

So it’s a cotton-wool existence now for me

No going out or taking risks

Avoiding any surface that is hard

Which rules out just about everything I love

So I might just have to cancel

That long-awaited skiing holiday

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021