Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 13th June 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Football mania has invaded the town with the opening of the Pan-Wiltshire Anusol 2020 tournament (delayed from last year due to general lack of interest in anything that didn’t have Covid in the title). Teams from across Wiltshire will contest the world’s most boring trophy, through a system of group matches, seedings, byes, bungs and bribes until the last two teams standing play out the final in front of the massed crowds of whoever turns up. Fanzones have been created in the town centre, not so much to accommodate the special needs of thuggish football fans, but more to help the massive police presence of nearly five officers to watch for trouble by keeping them all in one place.
2. Meanwhile, cricket mania has now almost completed subsided as teams get completely fed up of playing each other in this most boring of games. After long lay-offs through last year, the easing of Covid restrictions has meant that teams’ initial enthusiasm to get back out there playing again has completely worn off. The pitches have never been greener, the boundary ropes whiter, the cream teas more delicious, and the umpires more capricious, and yet the old thrill has gone. Instead the teams have taken to watching Test cricket on the TV, opening another can of beer and slapping another flaccid sausage on the BBQ.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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