Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 27th June 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Diplomatic relations with Trowvegas plummeted further this week after several episodes of international willy-waving along the canal. D-Town, exercising its rights to transit sections of the waterway by sending a narrow-boat (Defender) down beyond the Caen Hill flight of locks, was confronted in politically-disputed waters near Martinslade. Insults were traded via loud-hailer, bus routes were threatened with diversions, and ducks & geese were disturbed. Both sides reported different versions of events, but no damage was sustained, and no lock-gates were left open.
2. And late last night, Matt Handon-Cock, D-Town’s Health Officer, resigned from office after he was caught by several different security cameras around the town engaging in various acts of anti-social behaviour, including spitting, littering, vandalism, being drunk & disorderly, insulting behaviour, public indecency, threatening a police officer, and attempted rape. He later claimed that he had not been aware of any cameras, or otherwise he would have gone elsewhere to commit his various offences. His political career in tatters, he is said to want to spend less time with his wife and children, and much more time with his mistress. He thought it better to be up-front about this, as he did not wish there to be any suggestion of hypocrisy.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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