Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 5th December 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. D-town’s entire travel industry, including its own airline D-Town Air Flying & Travel (DAFT), were left reeling by the Government’s latest change of tack on Covid restrictions. Travellers will now only be allowed to travel on days with a “y” in them, must swear an oath of allegiance to the memory of Bruce Forsyth, must arm-wrestle a person of the opposite sex, and eat a whole tube of Pringles without gagging, before being allowed to travel on the 49 bus service to TrowVegas or SwineDown. Bookings on the service are, as expected, a little down on previous years.
2. And in another sad sign of The Vize’s loss of its overseas empire, on Thursday the island of Barearse finally lowered the colonial flag featuring the Great Bustard for the last time. Civic dignitaries from the town attended the colourful willy-waving service, held at sundown, as the waves of the North Sea came crashing in to shore, bringing the traditional offering of flotsam & jetsam, plastic bottles and toxic foam pollution. Coughing, and with a tear in his eye from the drifting fumes from the beach, the new Governor formally declared Barearse to be the world’s newest republic. Beyonce bless all who sail in her!
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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