Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 19th December 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Tory councillors in D-Town were astonished to wake up and find that their candidate, a model of a turd wearing a blue flag, had surprisingly not been elected in Thursday’s by-election in the Toiling-Without-Hope ward. Having been true blue for over 200 years, and never having been forced into the tacky business of actually canvassing the electorate for their votes, the Gammon Executive promptly had a hissy fit and decided to hold a party to commiserate with themselves.
2. And reports are coming in that the breakaway republic of Trowvegas has imposed new border controls in the wake of the latest Omigod strain of Covid. Travellers from D-Town will now be required to recite the oath of allegiance backwards, to submit to a full cavity body-search, and to colour in a portrait of Boris Johnson using only blue crayons and without going over the edges.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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