Would Jubilee’ve It? – Platinum Edition
HMQ’s just about broken the record
And I love it – don’t get me wrong –
But there’s a cost-of-living crisis you know -
So now a Bank Holiday that’s four days long?
The enforced jubilation and jollity
Will seem quite over the top to me,
But I’ll have to join in, just like the rest of you,
To celebrate the old girl’s latest Jubilee.
Now I’m as patriotic as the next man;
I’ve got all the bunting and flags,
But when you’ve been waving for four days,
You’ll find the excitement just drags.
I thought of going up to
that London
To see them all on the balcony, waving,
But I’ll just watch it on TV instead,
I couldn’t stand all that shouting and raving.
I’ll be up there with them in spirit,
Fighting for one’s place in the queue,
Getting all cold, wet and uncomfy,
As they wave their red, white and blue.
I can’t see the point of getting tired and cold,
Standing for hours, like you do,
And another thing bothers me –
Where do they all go to the loo?
I’ll be fed up with Coronation Chicken,
The buns, the cakes and the smarties;
Then I’ll eat too many sausage rolls,
And I’ll be tired of all the street parties.
I hear there’s to be a big concert:
You know I really wanted to go -
There’ll be Cliff, Craig David and Queen-,
The rock band, not the sovereign, I mean
And Her Maj will coast through it serene:
She’ll carry on with all of her toils,
Holding up her end of the monarchy,
Supporting a cast of minor royals.
It’s quite a remarkable family,
Somewhat dysfunctional it’s true,
With Megan & Harry off sulking somewhere,
And don’t get me started on Prince Andrew!
Anyway – that’ll be my platinum Jubilee,
I’m convinced it’s all too much bother
But we should make the best of it
Cos there might not be another
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