Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 4th December 2022
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Being the first weekend in December, this marks the start of the official denial season for the town’s menfolk. Ignoring all blandishments, TV advertising, carollers in the streets, special window displays and supermarket offers, males will traditionally forget that they need to buy their wives and girlfriends a Christmas present until approximately 10pm on Christmas Eve. Special arrangements are being made at petrol stations and 24-hour convenience stores to stock up with flowers, chocolates and general Christmas tat in order to deal with the expected last minute rush.
2. And a huge row has broken out after one of the servants at the Big House in the High Street demanded to know where one of the oiks attending a civic reception was really from. The yokel was shocked to be interrogated for several minutes about his origin. His first answer of “Trowvegas” was met with bafflement and incredulity, since the man was standing almost upright and hardly dragging his knuckles on the ground at all. His lack of tattoos and body piercings had confused the servant, and it was only when he admitted to actually living on the outskirts of Wiltshire’s roughest town that the matter was finally resolved.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2022
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