Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 31st December 2023
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. New Year’s Eve dawns sickly and pale over D-Town. The weather, in traditional spirit for this time of year, is predictably crap. People wander the streets in a daze, trying to work out if this is really a Sunday, or whether it’s a Bank Holiday, or even if it’s both. Or is it tomorrow? Or the day after? Who knows? Total nightmare. To support those with the new condition of “Day Agnosia”, a drop-in centre will be open in the Market Place to answer such questions as “when is it bin day?”, “when is the recycling centre open?” and “when am I supposed to go back to work?”
2. And sadly, for many people, the Turkey Apocalypse continues. The rotting, but never-diminishing carcase of the Festive Bird still dominates many a refrigerator. After the cold turkey sandwiches, the turkey soup, the turkey fritters and the turkey curry, is there anywhere else to go with this nightmare? Others are plagued by a never-ending supply of cheese, or a previously undiscovered tray of congealed pigs in blankets. Unmarked containers of leftover roast potatoes, sprouts and peas haunt the back of the unit, and take up valuable space now needed for the new intake of New Year snacks and nibbles. Never mind – it’ll soon be Pancake Day.
3. And a Very Happy New Year to my reader.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2023
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