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Sunday, 13 March 2016

News From Bromham - Dateline Sunday 13th March 2016

Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – Sunday 13th March 2016
                                             
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:

1.       A row has erupted among members of the Parish Council regarding reported comments made by a woman in the chip shop last week.  It is alleged that the woman, dressed in a thick coat, headscarf and sensible stockings, voiced the opinion that Bromham should leave the Wiltshire Union (Brexit).  The source of the leak for this information is not known, but several PC members feel that anything said in the privacy of the chip shop queue should remain in the chip shop.  Others felt that the woman should have remained independent, and should not have voiced her opinion in the first place.  The price of chips has not been affected.

2.       The leader of the Brassicas Sub-Committee, Boris “Flashmob” Piglet has denounced a memo released by his own office forbidding other members of the sub-committee from discussing sprouts and kale in any terms which might be interpreted as contradicting Boris’s own views on cabbages, at least in public.  Boris has now said that views on ruby chard and cauliflowers may be expressed in free way.  A new memo has now been issued, countermanding the first memo, although Boris claimed that the first memo had never been issued, but that if it had been issued, it shouldn’t have been, and he didn’t agree with it anyway.  A third memo is to be issued denying the existence of the first memo.  Fred “Fingernails” Piglet, who works in Bromham’s brassica fields, has not been affected.

3.       For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2016


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