Hail To The Unhealthy
So now that the Olympics are
over
And we’ve welcomed back
the medal-winners
On their golden-nosed
British Airways flight
It’s time to give
consideration, to the real heroes of the games
but it’s not the famous
names
those who won the bronze,
or silver, or gold
who trained hard and were
bold
not those of super-human
means
not even those behind the
scenes
not those who coach and who
train
nor those that practised
over and over again
nor even the organisers…
no – it should be people
like me
think about it – it’s easy
to see
why I say this should be….
I never took up an Olympic
sport
Never entered a squash or
tennis court
Never threw a javelin or a
shot putt
Never developed a boxer’s
six-pack gut
Never sweated out moisture
in litres
Nor raced in a sprint, or
the ten thousand meters
Not once did I
consider an athletic event…
Can’t you see what this
meant?
My decision to go through
life with a soft pedal
Gave others far more
chance of winning a medal!
So let’s salute those who
woke up every morning and said “No!
I can’t be arsed, and
won’t go down to the gym”,
Or “I’m way too tired to
go for a long swim!”
Let’s pay tribute to those
who were brave enough to say:
“Today is definitely not
my day!”
To those who gave in to
the temptation of chips, and of cheese
To those who were prepared
to be simply obese
To those urban warriors
who, when it came right down to it,
When it really, really
mattered, just couldn’t give a shit
To those who stood on the
side-lines of the path to glory
Who couldn’t be bothered
to write any different story
Who waved nonchalantly at
the efforts of others
The middle-aged men who
still live with their mothers
To the sleeping giants
that pressed “snooze”
With a lifetime dedicated
to fags and to booze
To those with firmly
sedentary roles
And who failed to meet even
their own low goals
To these dedicated people
I say:
“You chose to pursue your
own lazy way
Being fit and healthy
doesn’t always pay,
So look up, look up, for
today is your day!”
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