Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 12th August 2018
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. D-Town residents
stood in shocked amazement this week as the Postbox Appreciation Society and
Bankrobbers Anonymous joined together in an unlikely alliance to publicly
protest against politicians dressed in suits.
In a joint statement they condemned men in three-piece suits as “looking
like penguins, making a lot of noise and a great deal of mess”. They also accused them of gathering together
in huge colonies, squawking loudly and pretending to run the country. Once they only occupied the lonely outpost of
Brexit Island, but now they seemed to spreading everywhere.
2. And in further surprising
news, citizens have been informed that salt in their diets may not be such a
bad thing after all, contradicting previous studies and years of the opposite
advice. Parents keen to get on the
band-wagon, and to get their offspring on the front foot of dietary provision,
queued outside the town’s supermarkets from the early hours to buy extra
packets of crisps, pizzas and heavily-processed foods. There has been a run on salty snacks, leaving
the town with a shortage until further emergency supplies can be brought in
next week.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2018
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