Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 26th August 2018
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. A D-Town
resident is thanking her lucky stars, and the D-Town Coastal Search &
Rescue helicopter, for her miraculous rescue from The Crammer. After falling off the back of a small rowing
boat, as she leaned back to take a selfie with a swan, Eileen Dover had to
stand in near waist-high water in an effort to prevent her phone and ciggies
from getting wet. Ms Dover, who worked
as a professional idiot in an earlier career, said she was lucky to be only wet
from the boobs downward, and was looking forward to her recovery with about
fifteen pints of lager in the pub later.
2. And about seven people
lined the streets to welcome the visiting archbishop of Trowvegas, who was in
the town for a fleeting 36-hour visit. During
his time here he was expected to visit the C of E School for the Tribulation of
Minors, and to celebrate an open-air mass BBQ on The Green, where perhaps up to ten
people are expected to attend. All
police leave in the town has been cancelled, and the Society of Reformed
Choirboys will form a Guard of Honour for the visiting dignitary.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2018
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