Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 8th November 2020
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Counting has finally concluded in all of the D-Town wards to elect the new leader if the Council, but it has taken several days to work through the complex mathematics of the democratic system’s checks and balances to figure out, on a purely representational system, allowing only so many votes per ward, based on population density, and taking into account postal ballots cast, including those received late, who might have won. The returning officers complicated matters by asking for a recount in several wards, taking away the number they first thought of, adding their mother’s birthday and so on. The result, following four years of campaigning, and the expenditure of many tens of pounds, was finally decided by the narrowest of margins, by flipping a coin. And they say that this country is not completely democratic! Local pop group The Hanging Chads have been booked to play at the Inauguration Ball in January.
2. And in a bold move, local footballer Wynn Gerr has been appointed to the Council as Chief of Nutrition, appearing to know more about feeding starving school-children than the existing post-holder. Emboldened by this experiment, other appointments have followed. The Manager of the local pet-shop has become Head of Parks & Gardens, the town drunk is to head up Licensing & Trading Standards, a cashier at Sainsburys is the new Finance Chief and a parking attendant is to lead D-Town’s Foreign Office.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020
No comments:
Post a Comment