Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 15th November 2020
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. The
continuing soap opera power struggle within the top echelons of D-Town
Council spilled over into the public domain on Friday when the Leader’s
personal advisor Dominic Goings was seen leaving The Town Hall with a cardboard
box containing not only his few personal possessions, but also all his little
hopes and dreams. In other changes, the
Town Hall cat has been displaced by a civic rat-catcher, the caretaker’s job
has gone to the leader’s brother-in-law, the tea-lady replaced by his fiancée and the
office cleaner by his mother-in-law.
2.
And, as the Christmas campaigns of
the big stores & chains are launched on TV and radio, in an attempt to
kick-start sales in this era of Covid-19, we can bring you a sneak preview of
their offerings. Greggs, for example,
have launched their special Christmas bake, containing turkey, stuffing and
cranberry sauce. The vegan equivalent
contains no turkey, but instead an extra portion of tears and
disappointment. John Lewis have launched
new ranges of Covid-20 and Covid-21 goods (“never knowingly under-numbered”),
and M&S have announced their special vegetarian “feast” containing squash,
nuts, parmesan and herbs (“not just any old shit, this is M&S shit”). Sainsburys meanwhile have just launched their
range of Easter eggs and hot-cross buns.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020
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