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Thursday, 27 December 2012

Post-Natal Depression (Thank God It's All Over)

Post-Natal Depression

They’ve all gone back to work,
And the kids are back at school.
Here I am in the middle of all the mess,
Clearing up like a bloody fool. 

And as I look around & survey the site,
In the fireplace there’s a fall of soot,
An empty sherry glass & mince-pie crumbs,
And a mark where Santa placed his foot. 

The carrots we left for his reindeer,
Have been quite nibbled away,
But the droppings on the carpet,
I think is a price too high to pay. 

There’s paper wrap & discarded boxes,
Where presents were pulled out in their haste,
Played with for half an hour,
Before joining the rest of the waste. 

There’s food left over in the kitchen,
And I think I’m starting to droop.
If I have to eat one more leftover sprout,
Or face another bowl of turkey soup. 

The Christmas tree is looking all forlorn,
As its needles drop upon the floor,
And get blown around the house,
Every time someone opens a door. 

We’ve started our own recycling skip,
With empty bottles of every sort.
It’s not just the beer & the mixers,
But the gin, the vodka and port.

We’ve watched all of the Christmas specials
They put on the box this time of the year.
Shame they can’t do it the rest of the season,
Instead of the usual rubbish so drear. 

We’ve sent home the old relatives
Those aged wonderful old dears.
Now it’s time to take down the greetings cards,
From people we’ve not seen in years. 

We’ll take down the lights that cover the house.
Our neighbours think that we’re soft.
Yes, we’ll pack up the baubles & lights,
And put them all back in the loft. 

The sparkle’s all gone from the occasion,
All the drinking & eating & that.
They’ve stopped playing Christmas records on the radio:
At least we can be thankful for that.

Now the shops are full of bargains,
The stuff they just couldn’t shift.
Now’s a good time to stock up for next year,
With every possible gift. 

I know it’s been quite enjoyable at times,
But now that it’s over for another year,
I’m seeking to get some normality.
So I’ll see you – I’m off down the pub for a beer. 

Then I’m off to the dump with the recycling,
But I won’t be coming back in a hurry.
I’m not looking forward to dinner -
It’s turkey & cranberry curry.
 
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2012

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