Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 16th June 2019
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1.
Diplomatic tensions were ratcheted up this week when
D-Town accused terrorist forces in Trowvegas of attacking its buses in the Gulf
of Melksham. Several unwrapped sticky
sweets were found down the sides of seats on Friday night, although one of them
had failed to attract very much fluff, and was successfully defused before it
could do any significant damage. A war
of words between the two boroughs then ensued, with each accusing the other of
bad faith in running the 49 service. It
is feared that bus fares may have to rise to pay for additional cleaning.
2.
And the DBC (D-Town Broadcasting Corporation) was in
hot water after announcing that it would no longer be issuing free bicycle
clips to its elderly news correspondents.
In a round of vicious cost-cutting, a DBC source said that they were
looking closely at all forms of unnecessary expenditure. This would include reviewing whether roast
breast of swan could continue to be served in the staff canteen, and whether
every one of it 356 directors actually needed a Rolls Royce as their company
car.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019
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