(Everything Is) Completely Under
Control
Everything here is completely under control
So you mustn’t panic or worry
There’s no need to rush or to hurry
No need to get into a flurry
In fact I’d like to contradict the allegation
That there even is any “situation”
I’ve been very careful myself
So I’ve put my medicines on a very high shelf
Out of the reach of children
And kept the plastic bags away from the babies
So there is no danger of suffocation
Or imminent self-immolation
From the use of flammable materials
(Not that it’s at all immaterial)
I’ve read the warnings on the packet
About allergens and side effects and all of that racket
I’ve read through all the instructions
Before commencing construction
I’ve turned off the power before disconnecting
And done a risk assessment before erecting
I’ve removed any possible confusion
And avoided the risk of electrocution
I’ve used the contents before the Best-By-Date
And so that I wouldn’t become late
I kept the contents sufficiently cool
(You can’t take me for a fool)
And consumed within two days of opening
I’ve kept up my mortgage repayments
It has to be confessed
So my home has not been repossessed
I’ve declared everything I had to do
That to the best of my knowledge is true
As a false statement could de-bar
Any future claims on the car
To retain my complete safety is my goal
I don’t want to end up in a hole
Mister Health & Safety’s my role
Yes, everything here is completely under control
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