Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 23rd June 2019
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1.
The race for the leadership of the Town Council heated
up again this week, when one of the leading candidates, a Mrs Doris Bonkers,
was accused of starting a brawl in a local chip shop. Police attended an incident on Friday night
after an argument broke out between Ms Bonkers and the chip shop owner. The latter was heard to remake, relating to
an order for cod, that he knew the value of absolutely nothing. Police played down the incident, saying that
no crime had been committed, and that no-one got battered.
2.
On the foreign policy front - D-Town narrowly avoided a
Wiltshire-wide Armageddon yesterday when it drew back from ordering massive air-strikes
on Trowvegas, after the militants of that backward and nihilistic borough had
previously shot down one of our surveillance drones. Given the escalating danger of all-out
warfare in the region, several airlines, train companies and bus companies have
decided to re-route their services to avoid the conflict zone.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019
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