Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 30th June 2019
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1.
Citizens of The Vize were taken by surprise yesterday
when this Summer came and went, apparently without warning. Supermarkets hardly had time to get their
Sizzlin’ BBQ Specials onto the shelves before the heatwave was over at
approximately 7.37pm. Hot dogs were not
only on the BBQ, but also had to be released from cars where they had been
abandoned by careless owners. Ice-cream
sales went through the roof, together with packs of ice, cooling fans, and entries
to the swimming pool. Several lumps of
congealed goo were discovered on the pavement outside Poundland, which police
later identified as the remains of a set of road-works originally started in
1989.
2.
And in the early hours of this morning, history was
made as the Lady Mayoress from D-Town became the first public dignitary to set
foot in the heavily-guarded DMZ which separates the town from Trowvegas. Wendy Boat-Cumzin shook hands with Ho Lee
Fook in a gesture of friendship and reconciliation between the two warring
principalities. It is hoped that
military officials on both sides can now sit down in an atmosphere of peace and
goodwill to thrash out a detailed disarmament treaty. If not, the bombing re-starts next Wednesday
at 2pm prompt.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019
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