Lockdown Forecast
And now here is the forecast for all of the UK
The expected restrictions in sum
The general direction’s quite predictable
Of the Lockdown conditions to come
There’ll be a broad front of sweeping statements
Very stormy early on in the day
Bringing with it some gloom and despair
Mostly generalisations you’d say
There’ll be SAGE computer projections
Calculating the rate that is “R”
That may cause conditions of isolation
And prevent us from going too far
Later on - the advice may be changing
Occasional sunny spells of good news
Followed by optimism - getting cooler
As the Government changes its views
But gradually increased local lockdowns
A warmer downpour of new rules
Scattered and changing regulations
The re-opening of gyms and of pools
There may be a shit-storm of new cases
A thunderous second spike if you will
With some localised flooding of wards
The NHS overwhelmed still
The longer-range forecast’s not much better
So get used to socially-distant tasks
This fine furlough might last forever
With the lifting and dropping of masks
But don’t worry about a hurricane coming this way
The pubs and the takeaways are serving again!
The schools will soon be wide open
So it’ll finally end no-one knows when
Can we see the green shoots of a recovery?
And the clear blue skies of a vaccine?
Is there any sign of track-and-trace?
In the stormy predictions we’ve seen?
The atmosphere’s becoming quite cloudy
The statistical temperature rising and falling
The outlook is for dark recrimination
A seasonal “new normal” is calling
It’s all about the changing climate
The global warming of cause and effect
Then the icy cold of ineptitude and of blame
But hey it’s only a forecast – what did you expect??
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