Oh! Mr Weatherman!
Oh! Mr Weatherman, you’ve done it again,
You said it wouldn’t get any wetter,
But when I look out of my window,
I can’t see that it’s got any better!
My violets are all shrinking,
There’s a line that we’ve not crossed,
It’s chilly and miserable and windy,
And tonight there’s a threat of more frost!
What happened to Spring and to Summer?
Why are your isobars clustered together?
Aren’t we due for a warm front now,
And a promise of much better weather?
The shoots in my garden are shivering
My onions look like bunions
My spuds seem to be duds
The peas think I’m a tease
Cabbages creeping, parsnips not peeping
The kale has gone pale, I think it might fail
And oh golly, just look at my caul!
This cold can’t continue
Ever more rain, is more than a bane
It’s causing me pain, again and again
I know what it means, for my haricot beans
And it gives me the freaks, when I look at my leeks
And I’ve called off all bets
When it comes to courgettes
Outside it’s all drear and wet
It’s the worst season yet
I’ve started to grouse, and crept like a mouse
Inside of my greenhouse
I’m avoiding the slugs and the bugs
But even here there are foes
But that’s how it goes
With snails among my tomatoes
So, please Mr Weatherman!
This forecast of yours sucks -
Let’s get some new heart into your chart
Cause we don’t want the weather for ducks!
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