Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 30th August 2020
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Preparations
are being made in D-Town schools for pupils to go back next week. Measures to ensure the protection of pupils
and teachers will include: the wearing of burkhas by all pupils (trimmed in
blue or pink to indicate gender), the serving of prepacked lunches (featuring
such dishes as casserole of face-mask, served in a lemon sanitiser sauce), the
burying of those that succumb to the virus within school grounds to minimise
contamination, and having a one-way system for smokers at the back of the
bike-sheds.
2. And
the current mayor of The Vize formally accepted the Gammon Old Party (GOP) nomination
for the next mayoral election in November.
This year’s GOP Conference was held online, and it is thought that
nearly seven people may have attended. The mayor focused his address on what would
happen if his rival were to be elected, which he illustrated with visions of
lakes of burning fire, sewage flowing ten feet deep through the streets,
apocalyptic storms in the skies, biblical plagues of boils and locusts and
(worst of all) slight delays in the timetable of the 49 bus towards Trowvegas
on Wednesday afternoons.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020
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