Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 16th May 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. The population of D-Town is in a state of high excitement as it anticipates the next stage of lifting of Covid restrictions tomorrow. As hugging will now be allowed, people are bracing themselves for increased unwelcome attentions from friends & acquaintances. In the coming weeks more intimate activities will be permitted between consenting adults – frigging from 24th May, jigging from 31st May, and full-scale buggering from 7th June.
2. And police were called to keep order last night as fighting broke out in the pavement queue forming to await the open of Wetherspoons on Monday. The hopeless, the feckless, the homeless, people with social problems & learning difficulties and some of the dregs of society who were forming the queue indulged in scuffles. ‘It’s good to see some of our loyal customers so keen to get back inside,’ commented a Wetherspoons spoke-bot. ‘And it’s good that already they are forming a queue to reach our difficult-to-access toilets.’
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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