Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 22nd May 2022
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. D-Town was left disappointed once again as it missed out on gaining City status. Despite a year-long campaign, culminating in a whole month of sycophantic Platinum Jubilee events (including the world-beating supermarket trolley dash), HMQ saw fit to ignore our civic pleas. Political pressure will now be brought to bear on the powers-that-be in our bid to be accredited as Not-Bad Town status, OK For A Marketplace status, or (if absolutely necessary) Best Gridlock Town of Wiltshire.
2. Medical leaders have down-played the risks arising from catching the new strain of monkey-pox. A man in a white gown, who might have been a doctor, said yesterday, “given the real risks that people in our town run every day from catching duck-pox, contracting pigeon-flu, or being run over by a high-speed tractor hauling large containers of liquid – ahem – fertilizer, monkey-pox is really nothing to worry about.”
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2022
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