Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 29th May 2022
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. The flags and bunting were out in force on Thursday as D-Town’s glitterati turned out in force for the World Premiere of the new 3D Abbatar-based movie “Voyager”. The red carpet was rolled out at the Palace Cinema, as a virtual crowd of nearly seven people attended the screening. “Thank-you for the profits”, said the cinema manager, “it’s all Money, Money, Money to us.” “Gimme, gimme, gimme a seat after midnight,” chanted the crowd. “Mamma Mia, but we’ve had a good night,” said the manager, “including the lottery where the winner took it all, the phone continued to ring, ring and knowing me, knowing you, I have a dream that if you take a chance on me, one of us is going to end up as a dancing queen.”
2. And good news for citizens of The Vize this week, as the town treasurer announced a generous package of giveaways this week. Every household will receive two Pringles vouchers, the less well-off will also receive a booklet on how to starve to death in comfort, and pensioners will also receive a design-your-own-funeral discount coupon. The package of measures will be funded by a new windbag tax, to be imposed on elderly and middle-aged women who hold up the check-out queues in Morrisons by insisting on telling the cashier about their ailments, or discussing plans for the Queen’s Jubilee week-end.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2022
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