Bloomers At The BBC

Oh Auntie!

They say a week’s a short time in politics;

In broadcasting I suppose it’s the same.

Fifty-four days - seemed like a phase,

Poor bloke had hardly got into the game! 

But Humphrys doesn’t muck about much,

And he went straight for the chap’s gristle.

Fifty four days - and still in a haze!

Now it’s good-bye to old Entwistle! 

For George seemed completely bewildered,

In the interview he just couldn’t mix it.

Fifty-four days – caught in the maze!

Still trying to explain how Jim’ll Fix It! 

Now he’s “spending more time with his family” –

Left with a year’s salary – what a wheeze!

Fifty-four days – My God but it pays!

When the staff are all left with a pay-freeze. 

Yes, Auntie’s been caught with her bloomers down,

Despite being funded by the tax-man.

Fifty-four days – looks like a craze,

Let’s hope they don’t hand the job over to Paxman! 

Dimbleby says “are there Any Questions?”

That we, the viewers, might like to ask?

Fifty-four days – that we will raise,

As we take the BBC roundly to task. 

But are there to be Any Answers?

It’s more puzzling than old Doctor Who.

Fifty-four days – was he in space?

I’m Sorry, I Haven’t A Clue. 

But Just A Minute! I hear you all cry -

Wasn’t the guy just a bit of a louse?

Fifty-four days – how many ways

Are there to make cock-ups in Broadcasting House? 

It’s time to wonder “Are You Being Served?”

With editorial control in Newsnight?

Fifty-four days – fix on your gaze –

How the Beeb’s fallen from a great height. 

Well - that’s it this week for Strictly Come Chancing,

And for the taking of unwarranted risks.

Fifty-four days – before he’ll laze

As the next guest on Desert Island Discs!

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2012