Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 15th March 2020
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Panic
has now set into the streets of D-Town as a row has erupted over whether there
is a need to panic or not. The Town
Council is advising that, based on the scientific evidence, a gradually
escalating level of panic would be the most appropriate. The opposition parties are saying that this
is an inadequate response, and that we should all be panicking a lot more. Retailers have suggested that there is no
need to panic at all. Anarchists in the
town are stating that a huge level of panic is the only credible response in
the face of the pandemic. Social media
is alive with panic and no-panic stories.
And finally the World Heath Organisation has advised that five episodes of
panic per day, as part of a balanced diet of panic, is the best approach.
2. D-Town
University of Medicine (DUM) is to start a new degree course in Pandemic &
Panic Studies (PAPS) leading to a BA qualification. The three year course will involve studying
the underlying sociological causes of panic in the face of an ongoing global
coronoviral epidemic, together with practical work in the field, involving
panic-buying, supermarket shelf-clearing and re-stocking, toilet-roll storage
solutions, cooking dried pasta in an anti-bacterial sauce for a family of four,
and immersive self-isolation strategies.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020
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