Hail To The Experts

Hail To The Experts

The Internet’s bulging with information

On Coronavirus, called also Covid-19

The data’s overwhelming it seems

It’s filling up most of my screen

There’s statistics and predictions,

Projections on the spread of disease

It’s easy to access by Googling

Advice designed to put you at ease

Lots of stuff about washing your hands

Which will help us all very much:

Voluntary self-isolation,

Social distancing tactics and such

But I’ve decided not to bother

With such a comprehensive source

It’s an awful lot of detailed reading

When I could go to the mouth of the horse

Turns out my next-door neighbour Sheila

Is an expert virologist – who knew?

She tells me everything I need to know

And is quite clear what it is I should do

And my mate Dave, who’s lives down at the pub

Is an epidemiologist in his spare time

He’s got plenty to say on the subject

Not listening to him would be a crime

Then there’s Dick the keyboard warrior

Who can prove that the whole thing’s quite deep

A conspiracy by dark secret forces

To brainwash us mere compliant sheep

Not forgetting Mary at the local shop

Who assures me it’s all due to lack of faith

If only we’d pay more attention to Jesus

And heed everything that he saith

There’s Terry’s the local expert politician

And he’s quite clear who’s to blame

It’s letting all these immigrants in

Closing our borders should be the game

So there’s no need to burden myself with the facts

No need to get confused by the Government

I’m surrounded by these bloody experts

And I’m sure they’re all very well meant

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020