Some Greetings Cards

On being caught speeding: 

So they’ve caught you at last!

With camera-based enforcement -

So it won’t be the first points you’ve had,

Just another ringing endorsement.

 

On forgetting to take your medication (again): 

You are a silly old duffer!

You’ve forgotten to take your pills -

Now you’ll get those dizzy spells,

And be beset by aches and chills.

 

So take a double dose tomorrow -

Let’s just hope it’s not too late -

You might get quite a kick that way,

And find that you hallucinate!

 

On the occasion of your first visit to the Urology Department : 

Best of luck visiting the hospital -

You’ll be better soon, you’ll see.

Don’t forget to arrive with a full bladder,

Cos it’ll help them to take the pee.

 

Just relax and take things easy,

Try and maintain a mood that’s mellow -

You’ll find it easier to give a sample -

Let’s just hope it’s not green, but yellow.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021