Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline –
Sunday 5th May 2013
Here is
our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. The
political landscape of Bromham was changed irrevocably on Thursday, when the
Bromham Local Independence Party (BLIP) polled their highest ever vote in the
Local Elections. Almost 20 votes were
cast, with BLIP gaining 25% of them, in a turn-out of almost 30%. BLIP’s national leader, “Watson” Farrago, was
photographed outside The Wounded Ferret drinking a celebratory pint of Old
Wetwanger ale. He said he wanted to
thank the five BLIP voters, and would like to meet them personally. His wish was granted when Ben Dover, the UKIP
candidate, and his four sons turned up the pub for a drink.
2. A
huge sigh of relief was heaved in Bromham this week at the village shop &
delicatessen, when it emerged that no real harm had been done at the sampling
counter. The usual display of hummous,
taramassalata and tzatsiki had not been serially sampled by the same customer,
thus avoiding what is technically known as a “triple dip”.
3. The
first deputy assistant under-mangel-wurzler of Bromham Parish Council,
Peregrine “Lucky” Piglet has been arrested by the police and charged with interfering
with various root vegetables in a series of incidents over the last two years. It is understood that several of the
vegetables were under age, or had not given their consent.
·
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2013
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