Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 26th February 2023
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Supermarkets & corner shops in The Vize have reacted both stoically and imaginatively to the short-term shortage of salad goods, such as peppers, tomatoes and lettuces. Cucumbers were particularly missed as thoughtful gifts recently on Valentine’s Day. Whilst such goods have never been big sellers to the none-a-day demographic of many of their shoppers, nevertheless new advertising and promotion initiatives have been launched. Following the “treasure a turnip” campaign, we have been pleased to see “court a courgette”, “swallow a swede” and “bolt a beetroot”. This is Cos of Brexit, and is just the tip of the Iceberg.
2. Meanwhile, in a fit of PC wokeism, D-Town’s international book publishers have employed teams of “sensitivity readers” in order to edit texts to include trigger warnings for readers. and to avoid the use of language that may be deemed offensive in today’s delicate and gender-neutral world. In a first run-through The Holy Bible has been reduced from over a thousand pages down to a ten-page pamphlet. A new version of “The Wicker Man” will be entitled “The Plant-based Person”. Meanwhile “The Good, The Bad & The Ugly” will be renamed “The Acceptable, The Unacceptable & The Physically Challenged”. D.H. Lawrence’s “Women In Love” will henceforth appear as “He/ She/ It/ They Is/ Are Aroused”.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2023
