Latest Immigration
Scandal - Baby Removed By Social Workers
Report taken from the 26th
December edition of “Bethlehem On Sunday” by their Foreign Affairs
Correspondent St John Simpson.
An
unmarried mother (who cannot be named for legal reasons) was last night at the
centre of a huge row in the sleepy commuter town of Bethlehem, Judea, after
Social Workers employed by King Herod, the head of the Local Authority Social
Services, seized her new-born child, who can only be referred to under
reporting restrictions as “Baby J”, within minutes of the birth in down-market
budget hotel. Local residents stated
that the hotel was a by-word for over-booking and over-crowding, especially at
holiday times. The birth apparently took
place, without the aid of a midwife, in an over-flow room at the back of the
premises. The mother was stated,
however, to be in a stable condition. A
number of animals were found at the same address.
Asking
for a Care Order on the infant, Social Workers explained that the mother had
arrived in Bethlehem with no means of support, using hired transport, heavily
pregnant, and had history of mental health problems. She had drawn early attention
to herself by making a number of wild and delusional claims, including not
previously having had sexual relations, and having seen a vision of man dressed
in white sheets, claiming to be an angel of The Lord, telling her that her
expected child was destined to be The Son of God. The woman was thought to want
to claim Housing Benefit, Child Allowance, and a number of other State
benefits.
A
psychiatrist, working for Bethlehem Social Services, testified that the woman
was clearly suffering from a possible bi-polar condition and was obviously
unfit to be a mother.
However,
the removal of the child provoked a furious response from the Shop Steward of
the NUS (the National Union of Shepherds & Associated Flock-Watchers) who
represent a number of workers in the local sheep-guarding business. They claimed that they had been quietly abiding in
their fields with their sheep, according to normal night-shift procedures, when
they had allegedly seen “the sky full of angels, commanding them to go to
Bethlehem and to see this thing that had come to pass.” Bethlehem Police later confirmed that a
number of outlying huts had been raided, and a large quantity of hallucogenic
substances had been removed and confiscated.
“But
when the shepherds got there,” said the Shop Steward, “the child had already
been removed from the parents, and all they found were three old
strangely-dressed men claiming to be kings who had travelled by following a
star-line express coach from Leyton Orient. They were carrying a number of suspicious
packages, which they said were Christmas presents intended for the child that
was no longer there.”
An
official statement from King Herod’s Office confirmed the presence of the three
“kings”, explaining that officials would be detaining them as illegal Eastern
immigrants, who had sought to avoid import controls by smuggling into the
country a number of illicit substances, including frankincense and myrrh, and a
suspiciously large quantity of gold, in clear breach of exchange control
regulations. An Official Enquiry will be launched, headed by Matthew Mark-Lucan
John, in order that “lessons can be learned”.
It is expected to report its findings by Epiphany, and will be published
in the new “Testament” series. The
statement called for all the witnesses to tell “the gospel truth”, although
witness statements are expected to differ in many of the details.
Later
the authorities also applied for a “gagging” order on the woman’s common-law
partner, an unemployed carpenter from the village of Nazareth, forbidding him
to speak to reporters from the Bible. He
has been denied political asylum, and is to be deported as an economic migrant.
Meanwhile,
the whereabouts of “Baby J” remain unclear, but it is believed that the
distressed parents are planning to appeal to the court of King Herod for the
child to be returned to them, so that He can accompany them on a flight booked
to Egypt.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2014
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