Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 19th April 2015
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. Villagers
in Bromham have been faced to wait for hours on end to see their GP or to get
treatment at Bromham Cottage Hospital’s A&E department, following an
outbreak of pollitis. Residents report
breaking out in headaches and cold sweats as they are constantly &
repeatedly approached by researchers for the Bromham Broadcasting Corporation
(BBC), asking them how they might cast their vote on 7th May,
following every single tedious radio or TV broadcast by a party political
leader. “To be honest,” commented Bill “Fucknose” Piglet, “I’ve not only lost
track of which party is promising what on a totally unfunded basis, I’ve also
lost the will to live”.
2. And
in other news: the Director of Bromham Prosecutions (DBP) came under fire today
after she ruled that former Bromham Councillor Delboy “Shagger” Piglet will not
face prosecution on ten charges of historical vegetable abuse. Defending the decision, the DBP, said that Piglet
now suffered from an aggravated case of forgetfulness, and that therefore the
Bromham public interest would not be served by prosecuting someone who was not
only a legume pervert, but a bloody liar also.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2015
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