Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday
16th July 2017
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Devizes:
1. The
leaderene of D-Town Council has shocked opposition and supporters alike with a
frank confession this week that she shed “a tiny tear” when she realised the
full extent of the cock-up in her calculated grab for power in calling a snap
election. Maintenance workers in the
Town Hall were delighted to realise that the building had not, after all, been
subject to some bizarre form of acid attack.
The burned hole in the upstairs committee-room where the interview took
place was immediately explained, together with the corrosive stains in the
ceiling below and the large burning pit in the floor below that. No robots were harmed in the making of this
report.
2. And
today marks the culmination of the annual Grand Slam tournament at the tennis
courts in the town park. It is hoped
that the net, which was stolen by vandals several weeks ago, can be found in
time to stage the men’s veterans’ final.
The game will be contested by two of the oldest men in the town, one of
whom has been released from his Nursing Home for the afternoon. The other has had his Zimmer frame specially
polished for the occasion. Almost five
people are expected to attend. But there
are several other attractions in the town, including the heats of the Wiltshire
watching-paint-drying competition and a gala day being held by the Watch The
Grass Growing Society.
3.
For
details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station D-Town F-Off.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2017
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