Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 25th February
2018
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Nationwide people have been left angry and confused by
the supply-chain failure that has left many KFC branches closed due to shortages
of raw chicken. Here in The Vize people
have been left angry and confused by the shortages of branches of KFC. Populated only with branches of
Chicken-U-Like, Chick-O-Land, Chicken-Fry-House and Chicken-Licken, no-one
seems quite sure why they are still open.
There again the local wildlife population of pigeon, fox, squirrel and
badger remains firmly under control. The
Fire Brigade and Coastguard report no increase in distress calls from concerned
citizens.
2. Meanwhile, on the frozen surface of The Crammer, the
local Army Defence Volunteeers have been seen practicing “extreme curling”. Using a still-active anti-tank mine slid
across the icy pond, and the butts of their rifles to “sweep” a path in front
of it, the exercise is designed to sharpen reactions in combat. So far this week only two fatalities have
been reported, and fortunately no swans have been disturbed. It is hoped that any surviving members of
this crack team will ber able to enter the 2022 Winter Olympics.
3. For details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t
forget to listen to local radio station D-Town F-Off.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2018
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