Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 4th March 2018
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. D-Town is slowly recovering from the effects of the
triple whammy – The Lout From The South, The Pest From The West and The Beast From
The East. In summary there was an awful
lot of weather in the borough this week.
Local residents were heard to mutter that they hadn’t seen so much
weather in a long time. But the
much-praised community spirit shone through as council workers pulled out all
of the stops to ensure that supplies of fresh oxygen continued to be delivered to
shops and supermarkets. There were some
brief episodes of panic buying of air at Lidl and Sainsbury, but a swift regime
of rationing soon brought this under control.
There was plenty of local oxygen to go round, and very little imported
oxygen was needed. D-Town oxygen has
often been praised for its low-calorie, Freetrade, organic, vegan and
gluten-free qualities.
2. And tonight the red carpet will be taken out of its
protective covering and rolled out at the Town Hall, as the building is used to
host one of D-Town’s glitziest nights of the year. The Obviously Star-Studded Extravagant Review
(TOSSERs) will make its awards for Best Picture at The Roxy, Best Supporting
Scenery, Most Wooden Actor, and What The Hell Was That About? Film.
3. For details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t
forget to listen to local radio station D-Town F-Off.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2018
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