Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 1st November 2020
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Following the worsening of the Covid situation, D-Town is to be put into a further Lockdown. This is part of the new seventeen-tier classification system. D-Town will be in Tier 15, section A, sub-section 3. This means that folks can only go out on alternate days of the week, unless your name is Nigel, or you were born within the sound of some-one being drowned in The Crammer. Residents who have properties alongside the canal may only have custard on Thursdays. Occupants of rented accommodation must not keep ferrets, unless they have odd socks. Everyone else must stay indoors, except for essential journeys, such as getting hammered on cheap cider in the park.
2. And in the least-keenly contested election in recent ice-ages, voters will stay away from the polls on Tuesday to try not to elect a new President of the Council. TV companies have cleared their schedules of the normal election night coverage and analysis, in order to show old films and repeats of comedy series. The results, live as they come in, will be ignored in favour of a long-archived (and now largely-forgotten) episode of “Strictly Come Clean Out Your Guttering”.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020
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