Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 8th August 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. The youth of the town are celebrating their victory over the forces of adulthood after they were revealed to have won several victories in their fight to never grow up. After being offered free pizzas and trips to the cinema, just for having a little vaccination that won’t kill them and will prevent the spread of a deadly pandemic, the scheme has been extended to other areas of their drab miserable little lives. Yoof under the age of 18 will be offered free cans of Coke just to get up in the morning, free graffiti-writing classes if they can demonstrate that they have taken a shower and managed to dress themselves, and a free weekend in Barbados if they can manage to attend school for a whole week.
2. Meanwhile D-Town’s mayor has come under criticism after claiming that Margaret Thatcher closed Britain’s coal-mines as an act of ecological good sense, and was our first “Green” Prime Minister. Other claims, such as the Belgrano being sunk in order to provide an undersea habitat of fish species, the Twin Towers being attacked as a means of rapid inner-city demolition, and the spread of Covid-19 as a means of “light-touch” population control, were dismissed.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
No comments:
Post a Comment