Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 20th August 2023
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Police have been called after it was discovered that the Wiltshire Museum in Long Street has suffered a large number of unexplained losses. Initial investigations revealed that 90% of the museum’s artefact collection has never been photographed or catalogued, that curator staff have not been security-checked, and that there are no guards or alarms on the buildings. Police pronounced themselves “utterly baffled” how such a large-scale crime could be committed under such circumstances. Other local crimes, including cases of defecation on the woods, and establishing the exact religion of the Pope, also remain unsolved.
2. And the world of sport is in total turmoil this morning after it was discovered that, contrary to popular belief, women and ladies and girls of a female persuasion, can actually play ball games. Apparently all forms of sport are actually possible for them, including cricket and football. It is hoped that in future years, anyone wearing a bra and possessing a womb, will be able to register to play sports. Competitions, leagues, and even World Cups may be organised. It is not known if anyone would pay to watch any such shenanigans. So watch this space in case any kind of girlie games are ever staged.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2023
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