After years of intensive research by particle physicists,
and billions of ££ of expenditure at CERN with the The Large Hadron Collider,
it has finally been announced that a major breakthrough has been achieved. At a confidence level of 5-Sigma, which is
greater than 99.999997%, the first evidence of infitessimally small particles
of remorse & ethical behaviour have been detected at Barclays. This is the long sought-after, so-called
Higgs Barclay, or the Bob (Diamond) Particle.
Banking theory had predicted many years ago that at least
one banker must have had a slight pang of conscience about fixing interest
rates. It needed to exist in order to explain the existence of dark matter in
the Universe, and also of limited-charge overdrafts, but only yesterday could
the theory finally be proved.
There is now a very large concrete bunker with billions of
££-worth of electronics standing idle in Switzerland. However, it is understood that Barclays have
expressed an interest in the site as the new location for their Global
Headquarters. They had been looking for
some time for a site where they could locate their international missile silos.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2012
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