Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 2nd February 2014
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1.
The Parish Council is reporting that the village
is at serious risk of drought in the coming Summer months. Accordingly, an immediate hosepipe ban has
been introduced, and other water-saving measures put into force. Speaking from beneath an umbrella in the
teeth of driving rain, and sporting wellington boots in order to wade through
flood water in the High Street, Dave Wentwrong (leader of the Parish Council)
claimed that we really needed to think ahead.
At this point his interview was cut short so that he could get out of
the way of a motorboat making its way to rescue flood-marooned householders.
2.
The Education Committee Chairman, Michael “Fingers”
Glove, has announced that the Parish’s schools are to return to older
educational standards. Starting next
week, all new technology will be removed from schools, and pupils will be
issued with personal blackboards and chalk.
Regular thrashings will be carried out by teachers, together with a
tough regime of starvation and punishment.
Pupils will be expected to attend classes wearing smocks, threadbare
leggings and shoes with holes in them.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2014
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