Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 18th December 2016
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. In
the grand televised finale to this season’s Strictly Come Parsnips, a new
champion emerged. Dancing with her professional dancing partner from Russia,
Ikika Bolokoff, Bromham sweetheart Norma Stits, won over both the judges and
the popular vote. Picking both winter leeks and stem sprouts in the final, she
impressed with her fine use of both spade and paring knife. Dressed in dazzling outfit of green overalls,
set off with sparkly baler twine, Stits waltzed across three fields, narrowly
beating last year’s champion carrot-cruncher Eileen Dover.
2. The
crisis in the village of Heddington continues, with innocent civilians
desperate to leave their homes and to escape the constant bombardment from Bromham
forces. In the last enclaves still held
by rebel fighters loyal to so-called Balsamic State, the destruction of fences and outbuildings is extremely
severe. Several negotiated ceasefires
have collapsed with the insurgents continuing to lob swedes and turnips at
passing cars. Jets from RAF Bromham have
flown several low-level sorties in an attempt to flush out the root vegetable
causes of the dispute.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2016
No comments:
Post a Comment